For centuries, humans have been afraid of vampires, yet many forget that this bloodsucker is not the only creature that preys on the unsuspecting. The cryalot, an often-forgotten spirit from ancient folklore, thrives by sucking up the emotions from people all around the world.
From a eulogy at a grandmother’s funeral to the wedding vows of the bride and groom, where tears are being shed, you can be sure that the cryalot is lurking somewhere in a corner. But unlike vampires, the cryalot does not intend to harm humans. On the contrary, the cryalot’s sole purpose is to help us regulate the electrical impulses of emotions in our brains. In other words, whenever we feel overwhelmed by our feelings, the cryalot’s presence gives us that extra nudge we need to start crying—a perfect symbiosis that is beneficial for all parties.
Yet society has grown suspicious of the cryalot. Men, specifically, have come to see crying as a weakness—a last resort that should only be done in the gravest of circumstances. And with this behaviour, men have driven the cryalot to the verge of extinction. If WWF fights for the conservation of wildlife, then this essay is a rallying call for the war against the destruction of the cryalot. This is a fight for survival, a fight to make men cry. A battle not easily won, because men have contracted three powerful allies on their side: Chemistry, the “It’s Fine” mentality, and Batman.
Chemistry
As mentioned before, it is mainly boys and men who seem to be contributing to the termination of the cryalot. Even so, that is not entirely their fault. Like many conflicts and battles throughout history, testosterone seems to be the culprit once again. A study by Dutch scientist Dianne Van Hemert shows that the hormone testosterone inhibits crying, while the hormone prolactin encourages shedding a tear or two every so often. It is no coincidence that men have testosterone in abundance while women have a higher level of prolactin in their bodies. This means that men are, biologically speaking, less prone to crying and thus worse at regulating their emotions. Luckily, the cryalot is there to assist us in this process. It helps us blow up the dams we have instinctively built in our tear ducts—or at least it tries to. Thanks to our talent for ignorance, the cryalot’s job has become more difficult than ever.
The “It’s Fine” Mentality
Men are always fine. Or at least they convince themselves they are. “It’s fine” has almost become a pre-programmed response to whatever emotion-related question men get asked. But sometimes it’s not fine. Sometimes, it is possible that you actually feel things while you dwell on the unfolding events of life, and that is where the cryalot rears its ugly head. (Probably ugly. No one has seen a cryalot, after all. It could be beautiful as well—or just very average.) If emotions are like electricity, then crying is what happens when we blow a fuse, causing a small fire across the neural network. Not a big deal—small fires are easy to put out for a professional with millennia of experience, like the cryalot. After some quick tears, you are back to emotional business as usual.
Yet some people—read: men—blow a fuse but refuse to put out the small fire. Instead, they let the fire rage in a small, contained area of their brain. It is as if the New York fire brigade is blissfully unaware of the fact that Manhattan is burning to the ground, as long as it does not consume the other parts of the city. But suppressing or containing your emotions does not make them go away. Instead, they fester inside you like a disease. Suppressed sadness turns into suppressed anger, which might change into built-up aggression. A once-small fire is now scorching hot lava, turning your brain into an active volcano. The cryalot is more like a therapy dog than a volcanic expert, and when the emotional Vesuvius erupts, the cryalot can do nothing but watch Pompeii go up in flames and clouds of ashes.
And while it is true that crying might not fix your problem, it still has a preemptive function that cannot be overlooked. When the cryalot gives you that extra nudge to tear up, your brain releases the feel-good hormone endorphin. A study by Harvard shows that this process relieves both physical and emotional pain—a process we should all embrace instead of avoid. Give the cryalot a chance to work its magic, and the world seems brighter again. Deep down inside, we all know this. After all, humans have had this knowledge for centuries. Yet we keep pretending the cryalot doesn’t exist, that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. We let the emotional fires rage, and there is only one man to blame for that: the Dark Knight, the crime-fighting vigilante we have come to know as Batman.
Batman
If there is one superhero that could benefit from a good crying session with the cryalot, it is Batman. Being orphaned in an alleyway robbery, having to fight a Sisyphus-like battle against crime, and living in a huge, desolate mansion would make anyone break down in tears, after all. Yet we rarely see Batman sobbing on the floor of his grim Batcave. You’ll never see Bruce Wayne, Batman’s real identity, cry while walking home in the pouring rain after a difficult day at work. We idolize men who never show emotion because that’s what men have been told since the day they were born: do not show emotion, and if you really have to, do it where no one can see you. Society sees crying as a last resort, something you do only in the gravest of circumstances. But that’s not what crying really is. Crying is a luxury—an ability to call for help.
Babies cry because it is the only way to express their need for anything. Children cry when they are in pain and don’t know how to make that feeling go away. Teenagers cry when they can’t seem to find their place amongst classmates or family. We cry because we get hit by an emotional tidal wave so strong, we have no idea how to deal with it. The cryalot makes us cry—it is the tool we need to regulate all those overwhelming feelings and impulses. Inherently, we are all animals, scared of showing ourselves at our most vulnerable because we fear we will get hurt in return. But after three hundred thousand years on this planet, it might be time to get rid of that ridiculous instinct and embrace the cryalot once and for all.
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