I couldn’t tell you when I knew I wanted to be a performer. My parents were both ballet dancers, so I grew up in the theater world. It has always been a part of my life – I’m a complete theater nut. I had my professional debut when I was five. It was in the theater where my parents worked, and they were looking for a blonde, curly kid. In the piece, Madame Butterfly, it was actually a boy, but I was running around there, and they went, “That’s the one!” I still remember the lady who played my mom, how she’d hug me, and I can still remember the smell of her makeup.
I entered a ballet academy when I was around 10, but I wanted to do more. I was in the school choir; I took acting and dancing classes. And I just loved it. I thought, I don’t care what I do in theater, I just have to be in that world. There was never any doubt that I was going to do anything different.
I thought, I don’t care what I do in theater, I just have to be in that world. There was never any doubt that I was going to do anything different.
Nicole Rushing
It was not at all expected of me, though. I grew up in an open-minded household, where everyone could be whatever and whoever they wanted to be. I have three siblings, and we all do completely different things. My parents always told us, “We don’t care what you do, as long as you go for it 100%.”
When I turned 18, my parents took me to London’s West End, and by being there, I knew that I wanted to be on stage there. That’s why I did my masters in the UK. After my studies, I discovered that it’s very difficult to get auditions without an agent in the UK. I did have an agent, but for me, unfortunately, auditions were not coming in. I started looking for open calls and was able to audition for Disney’s Tokyo resort. Let’s see how it goes, I thought. I even told my friends at the time that I probably wasn’t going to get it. Musical theater is a career full of rejections, so it’s something you learn to handle. Two days later, I received an email that I got the job. I looked at it and just thought, “Off to Tokyo, I guess.”
I never thought I would go there. It was never on my bucket list, but when I got there, I loved it. I loved the people — they were so kind. The food was amazing. And I loved the show I did there. But the work ethic is hardcore. It’s stricter there. I was sometimes doing five shows a day with rehearsals in between. The shows are only half an hour long, but it’s a different type of energy that you have to bring all the time.
I remember this one dancer once did a kick and slipped, so they dragged her off stage while she was screaming. Afterwards, we had a meeting where they essentially told us, “Well, we still have to do the next show.” To me, it was an example of how you sometimes get drilled to push through no matter what. It’s something I’ve had to learn: How do you work with that, how far can you really go, what is your limit? What are your boundaries?
I think the only time I really called in — any time at work — was when I had Covid. I’ll get trapped in thinking, “The show has to be saved, the show must go on!”
Nicole Rushing
It’s important to give yourself, and especially your body, the time to rest, but it can be difficult to learn to say no. I think the only time I really called in — any time at work — was when I had Covid. I’ll get trapped in thinking, “The show has to be saved, the show must go on!” However, if you’re there and you can only give 20% because you’re not feeling well… That’s not fun — not for yourself, not for the audience, not for your castmates. It’s something that I’m still learning myself.
I didn’t sleep. I was emotionally drained because I was constantly thinking, “I have to do this, I have to do this.”
Nicole Rushing
That learning curve is a difficult one, because it’s also fun. It’s our job, it’s our life, and it’s fun to do. Even in the last couple of years, I’ve done shows where they called me for a piece that I’ve never done throughout Germany. I was on stage with a script during a show, for example. I also did one where I had a week to learn everything — not only the script and songs, but also the choreography — from a video. I had one or two days of rehearsal, and that was it. I didn’t sleep. I was emotionally drained because I was constantly thinking, “I have to do this, I have to do this.” I’m never doing that again. I have become a bit more selective of what I audition for and what I agree to. If my gut isn’t telling me to go for it, then I’ll leave it.
There are always so many different decisions to make in life: Do I take this job now? If I have a day off and the production calls me in, do I say yes or no? At a certain point, I decided that I had to be close to home. I loved traveling, but it’s nice for me as an artist to settle somewhere. In Germany, that’s Hamburg for the musical world, and it worked out for me. I’m very happy to be able to play in & Julia. It’s nice to be in one place, it grounds me. I have a home to go to every evening and spend my mornings in, and I get to have my people around me. It gives me a sense of calm. For me, it also took some time to find myself in the performing world, and I just threw myself into it. So, for anything that you want to do, go for it. Throw yourself into it completely and love it.
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